11 April 2007
 
BAYERN MUNICH 0-2

MILAN
   

Seedorf 27
   

Inzaghi 31
     
Things looked promising early on for Milan as even Oddo managed to make his
presence felt in defence when he hacked Lell's miss-hit shot off the line. With
his back to goal on the edge of the box Makaay played an exquisite reverse pass
to Podolski, taking out four Milan defenders, Dida covered his near post and the
youngster shot straight at him. Milan scored on what appeared to be their first
attack. Nesta stole a ball off Podolski in midfield and passed to Kaka', he cut
inside Hargreaves before passing into Seedorf who instantly brought the ball
under control with his right foot, took it onto his left then suddenly touched
it past Bayern's giant centre back pairing of Lucio and Van Buyten with his
right before shooting low past Kahn. Gattuso chipped a pass into Seedorf and his
outrageous back heel obliterated Van Buyten and Inzaghi, who was just offside,
turned before shooting high past Kahn. Podolski, who had an absolute nightmare,
missed a half chance when Jankulovski made a balls up of defending a free kick.

It was an uneventful second half until the hour mark when Van Bommel drew a
great save from Dida. Two minutes later Nesta slid across the turf to make an
excellent tackle on Salihamidzic who stamped on his thigh as he vaulted the
challenge. Nesta, who is back after a four month lay-off, was furious fearing
the worst, Salihamidzic got a yellow card and fortunately Nesta got up. Kaka'
almost, almost scored a magical goal when he crushed Lell with a Cryuff turn
inside the box and held off Van Buyten only to be denied by Kahn's outstretched
leg. Bayern had two chances in as many minutes. Salihamidzic should have pulled
a goal back but screwed horribly wide after Pizarro headed on a Hargreaves
cross. Nesta, again under pressure from Pizarro, was out jumped on another
Hargreaves cross, Podolski couldn't bring the ball under control, Nesta
recovered to clear with a scissor kick, Lucio slammed a shot into the Milan
wall, Salihamidzic blasted the rebound against Oddo and Pizarro shot into two
Milan players to win a corner. Bayern continued to surge forward as you would
expect but for once Milan defended deep and didn't overexert themselves in
attack.

Bayern's coach gave a fabulous pre match interview. According to Gattuso "Ottmar
Hitzfeld's pre-match talk really fired us up too as he said he'd see us cry
tonight. As for saying Pippo Inzaghi was not to be feared, he has proved himself
so many times at this level.". How do you spell arsehole? Oh yes I remembered,
ARSEHOLE. I doubt there's a Bayern supporter out there who isn't counting the
days until Inzaghi retires. Sorry Bruce.

People have got the semi-final line-up all wrong, it's not three English teams
it's a new take on the classic Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman joke - three
Americans (Glazer, Gillet and Hicks), a Russian (Abramovich) and an Italian
(Berlusconi).

Attendance : 65,000
Aggregate : Milan win 4-2 on aggregate
Assists : Kaka', Seedorf
 
 
LIVERPOOL 1-0

PSV
Crouch 67  

 
     
Things might have been different had Farfan not wasted an excellent second
minute cross from old man Cocu by heading at Reina. Gomes made a spectacular one
handed save from a Crouch volley and quickly followed that with a customary
blunder when he ran off his line to punch out a cross and completely missed the
ball. Zenden brought a dull first half to close by flashing a free kick wide of
Gomes' left hand post.

Farfan let rip with a blistering strike two minutes into the second half forcing
Reina into an excellent low save. Marcellis walked for a studs up foul on
Zenden, going through the brittle midfielders left foot when challenging for a
ball, Zenden, surprisingly, wasn't hurt.
Gomes produced another brilliant save to prevent Salcido turning Riise's cross
into his own net but old man Fowler pulled the rebound back into the centre for
Crouch to go one goal behind Kaka' at the top of the Champions League scoring
charts.

I hope this is the last time we see PSV at this stage of the competition. Yes
they gave Milan a run for their money a couple of seasons ago and their victory
over Arsenal was terribly amusing but seriously they suck an absolute cock.

Attendance : 41,447
Red Card : Marcellis 64 (PSV)
Aggregate : Liverpool win 4-0 on aggregate
Assist : Fowler
 
 
10 April 2007
 
MANCHESTER UNITED 7-1

ROMA
Carrick 11, 60  

De Rossi 69
Smith 17    
Rooney 19    
Ronaldo 44, 49    
Evra 81    
     
Carrick began this savage beating when he collected a pass from Ronaldo and
noticed Doni standing a few yards off his line so dug the ball out of his feet
and curled a brilliant shot up and over the Brazilian's head. Giggs appeared to
screw up what had been a fine one touch passing move with an under-hit pass into
the box but Chivu jumped for the ball and missed leaving Smith to plunder his
first goal of the season. With Roma pushing forward United hit them on the
break. Ronaldo took the ball into the Roma half, Smith sent Giggs clear down the
right, he knocked as pass to the back post and Rooney finished with a lovely
flick into the corner. Ronaldo marked his 30th Champions League appearance with
his first goal. Giggs completed a hat-trick of assists with a simple pass out
wide to the Portuguese winger, he cut infield and teased the hapless Chivu
before drilling a low shot into the corner.

Rooney ran onto a half cleared corner before passing to Giggs who hit another
precision ball across the face of goal, Smith missed, Ronaldo didn't, 5-0.
Carrick scored the pick of the United goals when he collected a pass from
Heinze, took one touch then whipped the ball inside the top right corner,
brilliant. Man of the match Giggs was subbed a minute later. With his back to
goal De Rossi nonchalantly volleyed a Totti cross into the bottom corner. It has
to the best most irrelevant goal ever scored. Substitute Evra came off the bench
to knock in number seven past a dejected Doni.

After their loss in Rome last week and at Portsmouth on Saturday I figured Man
United were ripe for the taking. Guess again. This was the first time Man United
had overturned a first leg deficit and I can't imagine a team that has lost all
but two of their away games will win the competition but as we all know stranger
things have happened.

Attendance : 74,476
Aggregate : Manchester United win 8-3 on aggregate.
Assists : Ronaldo, Giggs, Giggs, Giggs, Giggs, Heinze, Totti, Solskjaer
 
 
VALENCIA 1-2

CHELSEA
Morientes 32  

Shevchenko 52
   

Essien 90
     
Essien returned from a knee injury and promptly got himself a yellow card after
4 minutes for stamping on Morientes and thus misses the first leg of the semi-
final against Liverpool. Mikel lost possession in the Valencia half and Albelda
released Villa on the counter, he danced between Diarra and Carvalho before
rolling a centre to Morientes, he pushed the ball inside Terry, leaving the
defender flat footed, then smashed a left foot shot against the post and
horribly miscued the rebound. Two minutes later Carvalho headed a Canizares
goalkick back into the Valencia midfield and Joaquin picked up possession. As
Lampard and Ashley Cole backed off waiting for Miguel's overlapping run, Joaquin
hit a superb cross into the box and Morientes slammed a volley into the bottom
right corner. Villa skinned Carvalho on the left before cutting inside the box,
Carvalho recovered to make a brilliant tackle as Villa shot, the ball popped up
to the back post, Morientes fired off another volley and Ashley Cole trapped it
between his legs as Cech scrambled across goal. Chelsea finally registered a
notable shot on target just before half time when a Drogba header forced
Canizares into a sensational one handed save.

Essien recycled an awful Lampard free kick and provided a much better cross,
Ayala and Miguel jumped on Drogba but could only clear as far as Shevchenko
leaving him with a far post tap-in. Ayala and Moretti picked up bookings in
quick succession before Morientes was substituted and Albiol became the latest
Valencia player to leave on a stretcher following a risky challenge for a 50-50
ball with Lampard. Carvalho made a superb tackle to throw off Angulo as he
latched on a slack Mikel clearance. Chelsea won another free kick and this time
Lampard's delivery was spot on, Ballack seemed certain to head in the winner
only for Canizares to deny him with a save that will surely draw comparisons
with Banks vs Pele. With the match headed for extra time Essien tried his luck
from a stupid angle out wide on the right of the box and caught the former
Spanish international by surprise with a thunderous shot inside his near post.

Hopefully the semi-final matches between Chelsea and Liverpool will be more
exciting than their last encounters in the competition.

Attendance : 53,000
Aggregate : Chelsea win 3-2 on aggregate.
Assists : Joaquin, n/a, Shevchenko
 
 
4 April 2007
 
ROMA 2-1

MAN UNITED
Brown 44 (og)  

Rooney 60
Vucinic 66    
   

 
The referee finally decided to book over-rated ginger twat Paul Scholes after
his THIRD foul from behind (on Cassetti, Taddei and Wilhelmsson). Eight minutes
later he walked for tripping Totti on a counter attack. Chivu gave the ref a
thumbs up and a pat on the back, which was most excellent. Roma had a lot of
possession in the United half but didn't do a damn thing until Taddei got on the
end of a short corner and scored via a deflection off Brown.

The Premiership leaders (what a travesty that is) scored on their one attack of
quality, in between pumping aimless longballs into the Roma half. Ronaldo, who
was largely quiet, skipped two tackles as he cut inside before playing the ball
down the left flank to Solskjaer who hit a superb first time cross towards the
back post, De Rossi overshot Rooney and he juggled the ball off his chest before
crashing a right foot shot past Doni. Vucinic had an immediate impact after
coming on as a sub for Wilhelmsson. Mancini, was very, very disappointing, tried
his luck from about 25 yards and Van Der Sar did a Toldo, punching the ball
straight back into the danger area (these type of mistakes were the reason Juve
got rid of him) and the Serbian international slammed in a volley on the
rebound.

Despite their away goal given Man United defended very deep and showed little
ambition going forward this isn't as clear cut as many people seem to think.
Roma are outstanding on the break and provided they keep their composure they
have every chance of reaching the semi-finals.

Attendance : 77,000
Red Card : Scholes 34 (Manchester United)
Assists : n/a, Solskjaer, n/a
 
 
CHELSEA 1-1

VALENCIA
Drogba 53  

Silva 30
     
Chelsea should have been awarded a 10th minute penalty when Ayala curtailed
Shevchenko's run into the box with an elbow towards his jaw, amid the confusion
Kalou gathered the ball, turned and curled a right foot shot against a post.
Silva made up for a bad miss from 12 yards with an astonishing goal 10 minutes
later. Vicente tossed a throw in to Silva, he tried to thread a pass down the
wing but the ball took a deflection off Mikel (who is utterly wasted in a
defensive role) Silva was first to react and ran between Lampard and Terry
before unleashing a shot from a stupid angle way left of goal into the opposite
corner of the net. Ashley Cole intercepted a Canizares goal kick and punted the
ball straight back into the Valencia box, Ayala misjudged the bounce allowing
Drogba to burst past and head in his 30th goal of the season. It seems as if
he's been stuck on 29 for ages. Valencia rode their luck late on to escape with
a draw. Albiol wrestled Terry to the turf when they battled for a cross yet once
again the inept referee, Frank De Bleeckere, failed to point to the spot. Two
minutes later Canizares flapped at a corner, Carvalho saw his shot cannon off a
defender and Manuel blocked a fantastic Shevchenko overhead kick on the follow-
up.

Despite Joe Cole's timely return without the injured Robben Chelsea are going to
have a hard time getting behind the Valencia defence so they should pepper
Canizares with long range shots because he hasn't looked comfortable at all this
season.

Attendance : 38,065
Assists : n/a, Cole
 
 
3 April 2007
 
MILAN 2-2

BAYERN MUNICH
Pirlo 40  

Van Buyten 78, 93
Kaka' 84 Pen    
   

 
Rensing made a hat-trick of brilliant point blank saves from Ambrosini and twice
from Gilardino. Lucio was fortunate not to concede a penalty for a sloppy
challenge on Kaka'.Milan worked a short corner to Pirlo but he let the ball run
to Oddo, Oddo was given time to size up a cross and sent one straight onto
Pirlo's head as the Bayern defence sprung their offside trap and this time
Rensing couldn't prevent the ball from hitting the back of the net.

Around the hour mark Milan paid the price for the tremendous workrate they put
into the first half and began to tire. Bayern won a succession of corners before
equalising. Salihamidzic hit a deep left wing cross into the box, Pizarro headed
against the back of Oddo, Dida was incredibly slow coming off his line and Van
Buyten hooked the ball into an empty net before Nesta could make a challenge.
Lucio appeared to piss away a draw with a stupid, stupid foul on Kaka'. The
Brazilian was dribbling down the left hand edge of the box and just as he was
about to cross Lucio threw himself into a slide tackle, Kaka' went down (there
was minimal contact at best) and, to everyone's amazement the ref immediately
pointed to the spot. Kaka' sent Rensing the wrong way to score his 7th goal of
the competition, which is actually 2 more than he's scored in Serie A this
season. In second half injury time Hargreaves chipped a free kick into a packed
Milan penalty area, the ball bounced, Ambrosini tried to clear but couldn't get
close enough to Van Buyten who controlled on his chest before lashing a left
foot volley inside the post.

With two away goals no Gilardino (suspended), Inzaghi and Oliveira off form and
Dida playing like a complete twat, Bayern won't get a better chance to end their
miserable record against Milan.

Attendance : 77,700
Assists : Oddo, n/a, Kaka' (won pen), n/a
 
 
PSV 0-3

LIVERPOOL
   

Gerrard 27
   

Riise 49
   

Crouch 63
     
PSV enjoyed a decent amount of possession early on but did nothing with it while
Gomes denied the visitors a goal from their first attack with a magnificent save
from Crouch. Finnan worked a one-two with Mascherano up PSV's left flank before
crossing, Gerrard, cleverly using Kuyt as a buffer, pushed himself off the
Dutchmen to head his team into the lead. PSV cracked under immense early second
half pressure. Simons hacked away a longball, across field, Riise intercepted
with his chest and from about 30 yards hit one of his long range specials, a
superb left foot half volley which curled away from Gomes inside the left post.
Crouch got between three defenders to head Liverpool into the semi-finals. If
there's one team that's not going to blow a three goal lead it's Liverpool.

Attendance : 36,500
Assists : Finnan, n/a, Finnan
 
 
R Mehdi