30 September 2014

BAYERN MUNICH 1 (Muller 22 Pen)

Attendance : 400
Assist : Gotze (won pen)

MANCHESTER CITY 1 (Aguero 4 Pen)
ROMA 1 (Totti 23)

Maicon embarrassed himself further on English soil by pulling back Aguero for the penalty. Totti responded to trolling on twitter mocking him for never scoring in England (rich given Roma are not consistent UCL competitors and 38 goals in 89 European games is nothing to be sniffed at) with a superb finish, lobbing over Hart from a Nainggolan through pass. At 38 he is the oldest goalscorer in European club football history.

Roma v Bayern will be interesting. Bayern's high line should be tailor made for Roma's play. Hopefully they don't play them on reputation and go all out.

Attendance : 37,509
Assists: Aguero (won pen), Nainggolan

APOEL NICOSIA 1 (Manduca 32 Pen)
AJAX 1 (Andersen 28)

Andersen tapped in a rebound but a ridiculous handball decision gave the Cypriots a point.

Attendance : 17,190
Assists: n/a, (won pen)

PSG 3 (Luiz 10, Verratti 26, Matuidi 54)
BARCELONA 2 (Messi 11, Neymar 56)

After about a minute of hopeless defending Barcelona conceded a free kick. Luiz pulled down Moura's cross kick and easily held off Mascherano to score. PSG were still celebrating when that annoying pest Messi combined with Iniesta and Neymar to score a lovely, lovely goal. More appalling defending gifted PSG a second, Verratti of all people lost Rakatic at the back post to HEAD in a second. After some patient approach play van der Wiel pulled back a centre for what proved to be the winning goal, despite Barcelona once again scoring an immediate reply. Marquinhos denied that horrible little bastard Alba an equaliser with a superb block tackle.

29 home matches without defeat in Europe for PSG. Even more surprising given their league form.

Attendance : 46,400
Assists : Lucas, Iniesta, Motta (ck), Wiel, Dani Alves

SCHALKE 1 (Huntelaar 56)
MARIBOR 1 (Bohar 37)

Bohar gave the visitors the lead with a powerful first time shot. The Hunter pounced on a hospital pass and worked the space for an equaliser.

Attendance : 47,997
Assists: Viler, n/a

CHELSEA 1 (Matic 34)

Attendance : 40,734
Assist: Fabregas

BATE BORISOV 2 (Polyakov 19, Karnitsky 41)

The Bate boys marked the first UCL tie in their new arena with two first half goals. Polyakov tapped in at the back post after Signevich flicked on a corner. Karnitsky added a second via a major deflection. Aduriz's goal didn't spark a comeback. Dildo are in big trouble.

Attendance : 11,886
Assists : Signevich, n/a , Muniain

SHAKHTAR DONETSK 2 (Teixeira 52, Luiz Adriano 85)
PORTO 2 (Martinez 89 Pen, Martinez 93)

Brahimi dived to win a penalty which remarkably the awful Pyatov saved. More typical Portuguese diving was ironically punished by the Ukrainians when Kucher outmuscled Torres who fell flat on his back with his arms raised as Teixeira scored. Tyson, Teixeira and Bernard combined for what should have been the winning goal but a penalty for handball lead to a late, late collapse. After Action Jackson converted he tapped in a second from Tello's centre.

Attendance : 33,217
Assists : Kucher, Bernard, n/a (won pen), Tello