16 June 2016
GERMANY 0
POLAND 0
Zzzzzz. Milik missed two easy chances. He's terrible. Germany were even worse.
Attendance : 73,648
Assists : n/a
UKRAINE 0
NORTHERN IRELAND 2 (McAuley 49, McGinn 96)
The shock of the tournament, in a tournament of no shocks, thanks in part to typically Northern Ireland weather. McAuley pulled off his marker to head in Norwood's superb free kick. As the hail intensified, the match was briefly suspended. Deep into injury time, Pyatov, to the surprise of no one, fumbled and McGinn snared the rebound to give the fake Irish a precious three points.
The bore draw between Germany and Poland sends Ukraine out.
Attendance : 51,043
Assists : Norwood fk, n/a
ENGLAND 2 (Vardy 56, Sturridge 91)
WALES 1 (Bale 42 fk)
The useless, 50 million pound Sterling blazed over from six yards out when left unmarked in front of goal, he should be sent to Saudi and lashed. England should have had a penalty when Davies handled from Kane. Smalling headed wide from a corner. Bale became the third player in Euro history to score two free kicks in a championships, the others being Hassler and Platini. Standing 35 yards out and central to goal he scored a near carbon copy to his goal against Slovakia only this time Hart was to blame for making a hash of what should have been a routine save. Coward Hodgson made a double substitution at half time, Vardy replaced Kane and cripple Sturridge came on from Sterling. The Welsh surprisingly failed to deal with a hopeful punt into the box, Sturridge chipped the second ball toward the back post, Williams inadvertently flicked on and Vardy pounced to equalise. With his back to goal, Vardy laid off Sturridge's pass to Dele Alli, he back heeled into Sturridge as he was tackled, Sturridge took a touch as a defender fell at his feet and poked the ball into the tiny gap between Hennessy and his near post, great finish.
There were a combined six shots on target. That tells it's own story. High on passion and running and little else.
Attendance : 34,033
Assists : Robson-Kanu, n/a, Dele Alli
15 June 2016
FRANCE 2 (Griezmann 90, Payet 96)
ALBANIA 0
Leading up to this game, there were rumours that Pogba and Griezmann would be dropped and they were but their replacements, Coman and Martial, were piss poor. This was so bad even the three minute highlights dragged. Pogba and Griezmann were on as second half substitutes. Pogba should have volleyed France into the lead but blazed over when unmarked at the back post. Giroud, who of course missed an easy header in the first half, headed against the inside of a post in the second. In the 90th minute Griezmann sparred French blushes with a great flick header off Rami's cross. In the sixth minute of injury time, Payet picked up a loose ball after Gignac slipped when trying to control a fabulous Pogba pass, dribbled inside Ragip Xhaka before whipping a shot inside the right post. Player of the Euros, so far.
Attendance : 63,670
Assists : Rami, Gignac
ROMANIA 1 (Stancu 18 Pen)
SWITZERLAND 1 (Mehmedi 57)
Seferovic had two half chances as the Swiss made a bright start but then Lichtsteiner defended like he does in Serie A and the ref punished his shirt pulling by pointing to the spot. What a moron. Both teams were guilty of the type of misses you would associate with jobbers. Just as the Romanians were looking good for a second goal, Djourou almost put the ball into his own net, the Swiss equalised. A Rodriguez corner was charged down, everyone stood still and Mehmedi arrived late to lash a volley into the right corner.
Attendance : 43,576
Assists : Chipciu (won pen), Djourou
RUSSIA 1 (Glushakov 80)
SLOVAKIA 2 (Weiss 32, Hamsik 45)
Two fantastic goals gave the Slovaks what should have been a commanding lead. On both occasions they exposed Russia's right back Smolnikov. Hamsik hit Weiss with a fantastic 60 yard pass, Smolnikov ran at him but forgot to tackle or something, it wasn't clear what he was trying to do, leaving Weiss with yards in front of goal and he took a couple of steps before thumping past Akinfeev. On the stroke of half time Weiss played a corner short to Hamsik, he checked outside Shatov (insert joke here) and from the left edge of the penalty box, crashed a right foot shot in off a post, brilliant goal. Substitute Glushakov scored with a superb header but the nervy Slovakians held on.
Attendance : 38,989
Assists : Hamsik, Weiss, Shatov
14 June 2016
PORTUGAL 1 (Nani 31)
ICELAND 1 (Bjarnason 50)
Nani should have gave Portugal the lead but wasted a glorious Ronaldo cross by heading straight at Halldorsson. Ronaldo was guilty of a poor miss himself, kicking fresh air when Pepe did a Bonucci and sent him clear. A fine move down the right ended with Gomes turning on Vieirinha's centre and Nani tapped in at the near post. Horrendous marking left Bjarnason free at the back post to volley in the equaliser. Ronaldo head a Nani cross straight at Halldorsson and Finnbogason spared Portugal further humiliation with a poor finish having worked himself an opening.
Attendance : 38,742
Assists : Gomes, Gudmundsson
AUSTRIA 0
HUNGARY 2 (Szalai 62, Stieber 87)
It was all Austria in the first half. Alaba and his shit haircut hit the woodwork with a great shot from distance, Kiraly was forced to parry from Junuzovic and Harnik tripped over his own feet when Arnautovic left him with an open goal at the back post. Dzsudzsak spurned Hungary's only opening at the end of the half, his effort was way off target. Szalai played a double one-two with Kleinheisler and as he ran into the box, Almer dived at his feet but he managed to poke the ball under the Austria Wien goalkeeper. Dragovic was show a second yellow for kicking Kadar during a goalmouth scramble. Priskin released Stieber in acres of space down the right on a counter attack and, unlike mental midgets, he kept his calm to score with an impudent lob. Super finish.
Attendance : 34,424
Red Card : Dragovic 66 (Austria)
Assists : Kleinheisler, Priskin