28 May 2016

REAL MADRID 1 (Ramos 15)
ATLETICO MADRID 1 (Carrasco 79)

Real took control early against a nervous Atletico Madrid. Oblak was forced into a reaction save when Casemiro, the white Kante, got on the end of a devilish Bale free kick. Ten minutes later Bale flicked on a free kick, Oblak came off his line and made a complete balls-up allowing Ramos to poke his side ahead, and in the process score his second goal in a European Cup final. Talk about rising to the occasion, unlike many of his team-mates.

Pepe chopped down Torres to concede a penalty two minutes into the restart. Griezmann bottled it, slamming the ball against the underside of the crossbar. Savic missed from six yards following some unbelievably poor marking on a corner. Real weathered the storm and blew two chances to wrap up the game on the counter, first choker, blackmailer and fraud Benzema was easily foiled when Oblak cut down his angles. Minutes later he dived to save at the feet of Ronaldo and Bale saw his follow-up shot on the rebound blocked on the line. Gabi released Juanfran with a glorious lobbed pass over the top and Carrasco, who was by far Atletico's best player after replacing another random player named Fernandez, slammed in his centre at the back post. There were half chances for Torres and Bale as a highly absorbing and entertaining contest drew to a temporary close. Ronaldo had the only noteworthy chance in extra time but his feeble header failed to trouble Oblak.

Vazquez : Bottom right.
Griezmann : Bottom left. Doesn't matter now does it, choker.
Marcelo : Telegraphed. Bottom right. No chance for Oblak.
Gabi : Smashed into the top left corner. Great penalty.
Bale : A stutter step and again into the bottom right. Is Oblak retarded?
Saul : Looked petrified but sent Navas the wrong way.
Ramos : Guess which way? Bottom right. Oblak you slow bastard.
Juanfran : Bottom left, hits the post and bounces off. BOTTLER
Ronaldo : Smashed right of centre.

Much to the annoyance of many, glory hog Ronaldo managed to make himself the centre of attention by scoring the winning penalty and then removing his shirt to show his ripped upper body. That was the image shown around the world and will be one of the most memorable images looking back at this final. Yes he had a poor game, yes he's a selfish narcissist but he was instrumental in getting Real Madrid to the final and held his nerve to win his third European Cup. Despite the miserly jibes from Barcelona last week, this IS the trophy that matters.

Atletico Madrid did what they had all tournament, worked hard and created little. Navas simply wasn't tested. It's a miracle such a limited team got all the way to the final but indeed they are a limited team. When Torres is one of the two forwards you've got problems. Simeone hinted that he may leave and he should. He won't take this team further. They could win La Liga again but they won't win the UCL, they're not good enough.

Zidane deserves a ton of credit for what he has done in his limited time as coach. Over the last few weeks of the season he addressed Real Madrid's defensive frailties, making them far more difficult to beat. Casemiro relegated James to the bench, giving the midfield and defence more protection. Pepe was brought back into the starting line-up, though that was probably down to injuries, and Danilo was benched for the more solid Carvajal. Centre back is probably the only position they need to address, Varane is a cripple and Pepe is old. It looks like Ronaldo will stay. They should cash in on the lowlife Benzema but he's the president's pet. Isco and James would fetch a lot of money would could be reinvested in someone that's a better option at centre forward than Jese. It doesn't matter whether they defend the title next season, they won't. The team is in a far healthier state than it has been in a long time. This is a balanced squad with a strong bench. They didn't play particularly well throughout the campaign but then nor did anyone else besides peaking at the right time and riding your look is the same route many have taken to the trophy. They're worthy winners.

Real Madrid win 5-3 on penalties.

Attendance : 71,942
Assists : Bale, Juanfran

4 May 2016


Bale scored via a delection off Fernandino and nothing else happened. Horrible match.

3 May 2016


Of all the bloody players to score it had to be that useless twat Xabi Alonso, via a deflected free kick on the half hour mark. Four minutes later Muller, controversially benched in the first leg, had a penalty saved. The Xabi Alonso of defending, Boateng, left a huge hole in defence, I believe Torres intercepted as he ran forward then released Griezmann with a perfectly weighted pass, he left Alaba for dead before scoring what proved to be the tie killing goal. Lewandowski headed in Vidal's cross but Atletico were not troubled in the final 20 minutes. In fact Atletico should have scored a second but with Greizmann off Torres took over penalty duties and saw his poor effort saved, it shouldn't have been given in the first place.

That idiot Marcotti argued that Guardiola had not been a failure at Bayern. Of course he has. How has he taken the club forward? They average more posession than they used to previously? Completely meaningless. In his biggest matches, in his only tests in every season, outside of Dortmund, he has failed. Bayern were lucky to get past Juventus, lucky to get past Benfica and today their luck ran out. Guardiola is going to find things awfully difficult in the EPL, especially if he continues to be a one trick pony. Teams will do a Leicster. Catenaccio is the perfect counter and you don't even need exceptional players to pull it off. He's also going to get into many fights with the press and other managers. He's finished off his contracts elsewhere, this might be the first time he walks. 3 years of Mourinho, Klopp, Conte, LVG (if he's still around) and Wenger won't be fun.

It's hard to believe Ancelotti won't win a European Cup with Bayern. The tikka takka bullshit will go. It's not the Ancelotti way. Hopefully he'll get rid of the waste of space that is Xabi Alonso. I wouldn't be surprised if Thiago is history as well.

2 May 2016


Lamela's fantastic pass split the Chelsea defence and Kane rounded Begovic to open the scoring on the half hour mark. Just before half time Cahill sold Mikel short on a square pass, Kane mugged him and Eriksen played in Song for his third goal of the season. He may work hard but he's shit.

The first bench clearing brawl broke out after a confrontation between Rose and Willian, which Pochettino broke up. Sometime during this, Dembele gouged Costa in the left eye. Cahill blasted Chelsea back into the match after the usually resolute Tottenham defence fell apart on a corner. Mason should have restored Tottenham's lead. Hazard dribbled away from two tackles, played a one-two with Costa and curled a first time shot over Lloris. Fantastic goal. With the title slipping away Spurs lost the plot. Dier should have been sent off twice, Mason tripped Fabregas and Lamela, who should have been sent off in the first half, walked by and stamped on his left hand. There was a bench clearing brawl and Spurs eventually ended up having nine players booked, a new record. They should be deucted points, Arsenal had 2 points deducted and Man United 1 for a brawl back in the 1990-1991 season.

1 May 2016

Man United played like the old Man United, at least for the first 15 minutes. Martial volleyed in a cross at the back post. Morgan headed in the equaliser about 10 minutes later. The game pettered out and nothing happened, despite there was some whining about penalties. Leicester more or less celebrated at full time knowing they were going to win the title.