21 October 2014

CSKA MOSCOW 2 (Musa 64, Doumbia 86 Pen)
MANCHESTER CITY 2 (Aguero 29, Milner 38)

Dzeko beat CSKA's offside trap to lay on the opener for Aguero. Milner slid in Aguero's miss-hit shot as the snow fell in -5C temperatures. A mistake by Mangala allowed CSKA back into the game and the collapse was complete when Doumbia dived theatrically under a Kolarov challenge.

Attendance : Stadium Ban
Assists : Dzeko, Aguero, Musa, Doumbia (won pen)

ROMA 1 (Gervinho 66)
BAYERN MUNICH 7 (Robben 9, Gotze 23, Lewandowski 25, Robben 30, Muller 36 Pen, Ribery 78, Shaqiri 80)

Roma had been looking forward to this match but it went to shit inside 10 minutes and they were flogged without mercy for the rest of the game. Robben did his trademark step inside the fullback (Cole) and whip a shot inside the opposite corner trick. Muller's clever back heel set up Gotze for the second and two minutes later Lewandowski threw himself at Bernat's cross to score with a fine diving header. Robben beat Cole like a drum for his second. Muller made it 5-0 after Manolas handled. Bayern took it easy in the second half. Gervinho headed in the consolation goal before substitutes Ribery and Shaqiri completed Roma's humiliation. Ribery with a brilliant lob and Shaqiri on the rebound. Bayern's biggest away win in the UCL.

When Roma shit the bed they really shit the bed, just like the 7-1 thrashing at Old Trafford.

Attendance : 70,544
Assists : Lahm, Muller, Bernat, Lewandowski, n/a, Nainggolan, Robben, n/a

PSG 1 (Cavani 87)

Attendance : 18,659
Assist : Bahebeck

BARCELONA 3 (Neymar 7, Messi 24, Ramirez 94)
AJAX 1 (Ghazi 88)

Neymar scored with a brilliant first time shot from Messi's lay off. Iniesta found Messi with an exquisite pass but Cillessen should have saved his shot. Ghazi scrambled Ajax back into the game but Barca weren't to be denied in a match in which they could have scored nine, Ramirez steering a shot into the corner for his first UCL goal.

Attendance : 79,357
Assists : Messi, Iniesta, n/a, Rafinha

SCHALKE 4 (Obasi 34, Huntelaar 50, Howedes 60, Choupo-Moting 93 Pen)
SPORTING 3 (Nani 16, Silva 64 Pen, Silva 78)

Well this was something. Mario centred a corner, which is something you rarely see, and Nani's shot almost certainly went in off a defender. Sporting defender Mauricio was sent off for jumping into Hoger with Misawa's jumping hip check attack. Patricio fumbled Obasi's header before THE HUNTER gave Schalke the lead with a thumping drive. Howedes made it 3-1 with a bullet header but a stupid foul got Sporting back into the game. Cedric the Entertainer hung up a great cross for Silva's equaliser. A terrible penalty decision for a non handball gifted Schalke the three points their collapse didn't deserve.

Attendance : 49,943
Red Card : Mauricio 33 (Sporting)
Assists : Mario (ck), Aogo, Obasi, Ayhan (fk), Carrillo, Cedric, n/a

CHELSEA 6 (Remy 13, Drogba 23 Pen, Terry 31, Viler 54 og, Hazard 77 Pen, Hazard 90)

Remy injured himself after dribbling past two players and shooting inside the right post. A charitable handball gave Drogba his first of the season. Terry finished off a counter attack to send Chelsea into a three goal lead. A defender turned in Hazard's centre. Maribor missed a penalty and Hazard added two late goals to complete another one sided rout in the night of one sided routs. His last was an absolute peach. He pulled down a longball, dragged the ball back around to his right foot and turned sharply to bring the ball onto his left before blasting past Handanovic, who is the cousin of Inter goalkeeper Samir Handanovic.

Attendance : 41,126
Assists : Terry, n/a, Fabregas, n/a, n/a (won pen), Ake

SHAKHTAR DONETSK 7 (Alex 11, Luiz Adriano 28 Pen, Costa 35, Adriano 37, Adriano 40, Adriano 44, Adriano 82 Pen)

Taison mugged a defender before playing in Alex for the opener. Teixeira deliberately ran into Chernick to win the penalty. Costa made it 0-3 on a rapid counter attack. Adriano finished off a lovely one touch passing move for his second and less than three minutes later pounced on a deflection to complete his hat-trick then taped in another, making Shakhtar the first team to score six goals in the first half of a UCL game. They only scored one in the second half but Adriano did become only the second player to score 5 in a game, after Messi hit five against Leverkusen.

Attendance : 12,113
Assists : Taison, Teixeira (won pen), Taison, Shevchuk, n/a, Shevchuk, Adriano (won pen)

PORTO 2 (Herrera 45, Quaresma 75)
ATLETIC BILBAO 1 (Fernandez 58)

Quintero found Herrera with a brilliant disguised pass to give Porto a half time lead. Fernandez equalised with a fine solo goal but Iraizoz fumbled Quaresma's speculative shot and Bilbao fell to another defeat.

Attendance : 38,116
Assists : Quintero, Bernat, Brahimi