19 May 2012

CHELSEA (Drogba 88)

The big news before kick off was the inclusion of Ryan Bertrand on the left flank. I don't know who he is either. Chelsea were caught napping on a throw-in, Muller pulled back the ball as it was about to roll out of play, Gomez did a Falcao and brilliantly stepped away from a Cahill sliding tackle only to back heel the ball too far away from himself to shoot. Cech had a lucky escape two minutes later. Using Ribery as a decoy Robben wriggled in between Bosingwa and Mikel, as he shot Cech stuck out his right foot and sliced the ball up off the right post and out for a corner. Ribery played in Contento on the overlap but Muller bounced his first time cross wide of the left post. Gomez slammed an overhead kick into Cahill, Robben gathered and turned the ball onto Ribery, his horribly miscued shot turned into a perfect assist for Gomez at the back post but instead of shooting first time he tried to take a touch and his first touch is about as subtle as a rapists. He almost repeated the same trick late in the half but this time having again stepped away from Cahill he sent a shot out of the Eurozone.

Having been continually thwarted by Cole it took Bayern over 70 minutes to figure out Chelsea's weaker side was their right, someone must have read my tweet. Muller screwed a shot horribly wide from 12 yards after a deflected shot broke for him. 5 minutes later Kroos swung a cross to the back post and Muller sent a scruffy header bouncing into the turf and up and over Cech, who should have saved. Torres replaced Kalou a minute later and on 87 minutes Van Buyten replaced 'match winner' Muller. Chelsea won their first corner on 89 minutes. Mata swung in a cross, Van Buyten was tracking Cahill, Boateng didn't even bother to challenge Drogba for the ball, thinking it would be a better idea to push him, Drogba leapt in the air and crashed a header into the top right corner.

5 minutes into extra time Bayern were awarded a penalty when Drogba tapped Ribery on the ankle. It didn't look like much but Ribery couldn't continue. As he was receiving treatment big game bottler Robben (see the World Cup final) had his spot kick saved. Wanker. As I said during the semi-final shootout I always worry when a Dutchmen takes a penalty when there are Germans around. Bayern heads dropped and at this point and they had defeat written all over their faces. A better coach could have turned it around.

Penalty Shoot Out
Lahm - Curled right, awful height and Cech got a touch but not enough
Mata - Poor penalty, right of centre
Gomez - Well I'll be damned, he scored! Hard bottom left
Luiz - Top right corner, un-saveable
Neuer - Bottom left, just made it
Lampard - High up the middle, Neuer should have saved it, right at him
Olic - Bottom right, fantastic save by Cech with his right hand
Cole - Thumped hard right, so hard it momentarily got stuck in the netting
Schweinsteiger - Against the base of the right post and out
Drogba - Bottom left

Nein nein nein nein nein nein.

I'm excluding the numerous blocks made by Chelsea players in this report. Cole played like he was 10 feet tall.

Who is to blame for this mess? Greece brought catenaccio back to the fore in 2004 and that bastard Benitez jumped on the bandwagon the next year then it disappeared until ball hogging midgets Barcelona wouldn't let anyone else play. Of course catenaccio or no catenaccio, had Bayern (and Barcelona) took their chances we wouldn't be here. At least lowlife Terry wasn't allowed to lift the trophy. Given the only Chelsea supporters I know are my kids (and Gary Neville) this win won't be so hard to bear.

Heynckes recreated Hitzfeld's Matthaus moment from 1999 with his substitution of Muller. Having done the easy part, and taking one of the many chances they created should have been easy, Heynckes dropped the ball. A good coach should help his players feed off fervent home support, not let them become crippled by it. I'm not sure who will be Bayern's next coach but after getting flogged by Dortmund domestically they can't keep Heynckes on.

Di Matteo is expected to make way for Capello which should be fun with that dressing room. Lazio have been linked with Di Matteo and quite frankly the last thing they or Serie A needs is a catenaccio merchant who favours the old guard.

Is Mikel the poorest player to ever have a European Cup winner's medal? Liverpool donkey Biscan and Milan donkey Roque Junior run him close.

Chelsea win 3-4 on penalties.

Attendance : 62,500
Assists : Kroos, Mata (ck)