13 September 2011

CHELSEA 2 (Luiz 67, Mata 92)

The white Heskey justified his pitiful existence by laying on both goals in a laborious match. WHATEVER.

Attendance : 33,820
Assists : Torres, Torres


Attendance : 20,218
Assists : n/a

MARSEILLE 1 (Gonzalez 51)

Attendance : 30,040
Red Card : Fanni 91 (Marseille)
Assist : Morel

DORTMUND 1 (Perisic 88)
ARSENAL 1 (Van Persie 42)

Kehl sold Hummels short on a pass, Van Persie intercepted with a sliding tackle and Walcott slipped the ball between Kehl and Van Persie ran clear of the trademark Bundesliga high line before thumping the ball past Weidenfeller. Gibbs weakly headed a free kick to the edge of the box and Perisic caught the ball on the drop to send a right foot volley looping up and over a packed penalty area before dropping into the top corner. Great goal.

Attendance : 65,590
Assists : Walcott, n/a

PORTO 2 (Hulk 28, Kleber 51)

Hulk fired a 9th minute penalty against a post. Porto's comedy goalkeeper fumbled Willian's grasscutter and Luiz Adriano beat him to the rebound. Hulk beat Rybka with an almighty free kick from 35 yards, Rybka got a touch but the ball was too hot to handle. Rakitskiy was sent off for a disgraceful two footed, studs up foul on Moutinho whose shin pads sparred him a shattered shin. James Rodriguez, tipped for a great future, skinned a defender before laying on the winner for Porto's 21 year old Brazilian striker Kleber.

Attendance : 36,612
Red Cards : Rakitskiy 40 (Shakhtar), Chygrynskiy 80 (Shakhtar)
Assists : n/a, Hulk (won fk), Rodriguez

APOEL NICOSIA 2 (Manduca 73, Almeida 75)

Zyrianov fired a Danny pass low inside the right post. The red card. Pinto's miss hit shot fell kindly for Manduca and two minutes later he released Almeida with a FANTASTIC disguised pass, Zyrianov shaped his body before bending the ball into the bottom corner.

Attendance : 21,269
Red Card : Alves 76 (Zenit)
Assists : Danny, Pinto, Manduca

BARCELONA 2 (Pedrito 36, Villa 50 fk)
MILAN 2 (Pato 27 seconds, Silva 92)

My boy NOCERINO (see my Serie A season preview) intercepted a slack Abidal header and ran through an Iniesta challenge before poking a ball past Xavi to Pato, he turned away from Keita, nutmegged Mascherano, turned on the afterburners and left Busquets for dead before nutmegging Valdes as he ran off his line. The fifth fasted goal in Champions League history. As expected Barcelona dominated possession. Messi hit the right post twice, with a free kick and a shot from a difficult angle, albeit Abbiati had it covered. Boateng should have made it 0-2 on a Pato lead counter but blazed over then his back problem flared up again and he made way for Ambrosini. Guardiola switched to a 3 man defence and sat Abidal on Pato to stop his runs. Cassano lost the ball in the opposition half with a mindless back heal and Barca countered, Messi took the ball inside Nesta before knocking it forward, he beat Abate for pace and pulled the ball across goal for Pedrito, whose run should have been tracked by Zambrotta, to equalise.

Villa put Barca in front with a brilliant free kick, won with a dive (of course) early in the second half but after that point the chances dried up. Allegri substituted the awful Cassano for Emanuelson and switched to 4-4-1-1 and five minutes later Puyol replaced Keita. In injury time Thiago Silva leapt above a flat footed Barcelona defence to head in a Seedorf corner and claim an unlikely point.

Despite their possession Barcelona didn't put the Milan goal under anywhere near the pressure many had expected. Barcelona hit a wall on the hour mark, as Arsenal showed last year. The trick is to be in the game at that point. Milan's defending in central positions was excellent and they killed off Barcelona's triangles but the European Champions were getting joy out wide. Left back continues to be a problem position. Taiwo can't come back soon enough. Cassano was dreadful. If Milan had an out ball i.e. Ibrahimovic they could have made this game very interesting. They will fancy their chances in the San Siro. It's not beyond them to win the group.

Attendance : 89,861
Assists : Nocerino, Messi, Busquets (won fk), Seedorf (ck)

PLZEN 1 (Bakos 46)
BATE BORISOV 1 (Bressan 69)

With his back to goal Jiracek spun onto a pass and rolled a centre for Bakos to tap-in at the back post. Bressan beat the Plzen offside trap onto a lovely pass before nutmegging Cech (not that one obviously).

Attendance : 19,541
Assists : Jiracek, Rudik